This probably is the most overly discussed topic yet the most important topic. I was coaching this student last night. He told me he was real afraid of approaching women and in his mind he cannot attract beautiful women. I asked him to write a list of things he is afraid of. When we discussed that list it was obvious that his fears were nothing but excuses. In fact for a long time I labeled my excuses as fears as well. But now I know that most of your fears are mere excuses or myths and if you do not push yourself to face them you will spend most of your life hurting. So one more time I am listing some of these excuses here from my book "Social Mastery". Hope you read them and make a commitment to get rid of your excuses, take action and approach those beautiful women. Make a promise right now to approach two women today after reading this post.
Here are some excuses or internal conflicts that prevent us from making the move:
1. I am not good looking.
Most guys are not good looking, and most women are more attracted to personality than looks. In fact, good looks in men has its own set of challenges. They come across as players and women don't trust them. I cannot tell you how often I have to bring my value down when I am not even good looking. If you display qualities that women are attracted to , nothing else matters. Remember Seal marrying Heidi Klum! Do I need to say more? So you know there are factors other than looks that can get you the Woman. In fact, these other factors are what get you the woman MOST of the time.
2. Everyone will laugh at me when I get rejected.
Only if you act rejected. No one knows you got rejected unless you leave the set crushed. When a set ends or you get rejected, be a man, smile, shake hands, and say it was nice talking to you anyways, have fun and leave with a smile on your face. Besides, women usually are very polite when they reject you. And if they do, NO BIG DEAL! Everyone including me gets rejected.
3. She probably has a boyfriend.
She probably does, she probably does not! And it means nothing. She might be dating him to land that role she has been dying to get or because she has not met anyone like you yet but she does not want to come across as a loser by being single. I could publish a whole book with stories of women leaving their boyfriend and husbands for someone else.
4. That guy is probably her boyfriend.
Only way to find out is by approaching her. If he is her boyfriend, he won't kill you. Remember, 8 out of 10 times the guy will be her friend because women do not go out alone and they feel more secure with a guy to prevent the losers from approaching them. In fact, approaching a woman who is with guys raises your value. You have to be a confident, ballsy guy to be able to do that.
Recently, I was with a student. I sent him to open a set on the dance floor. This woman was with three guys. I was at a distance when he opened the set. Five minutes later I saw him surrounded with three guys and I thought he needed help. I walk into the set and find out that these three guys are traveling from Europe and that woman was with them. In a short time, they had become good friends with my student and also ended up telling him that she was single and that he should make the move. Now I have to admit, had I realized early on that she was with three guys, I probably would have not sent this student to open her, this being his first time in the field, but then I would have done a huge disservice to him. Valuable lesson learned! Go open and don't worry about dynamics. Let it play out! You'll be surprised!
5. She will think poorly of me if I approach her. I will lose value for approaching her.
Au contraire. She will have more respect for you for approaching her than not approaching her. After all, they go out themselves to meet men. I was once recording live pick up in a bar. A group of women approached me. We had a discussion on this and they agreed that they would rather have guys approach them then not approach them. In fact, can you imagine how crushed they will be if no one approaches them! You are only respecting them by approaching them. They know it and will only confess it to confident men.
6. She spotted me with other girl.
Congratulations! You have real high value in her eyes! Women love a man that other women want as well. That is why all the rock stars get laid all the time. In fact, you will lose value if you don't flirt with other women. One of my ex-girlfriends confessed that she would always let her boyfriend flirt with other women because it increased his confidence and her jealousy level which resulted in good sex. No need to apologize for being sexual!
7. I don't have much to say.
Not after reading my book "Social Mastery" and doing the exercises I ask you to do! You will have enough material to use. And if not, you will create it while in action. Start the conversation with high energy and see the magic unfold. Your high energy will automatically drive the conversation in the right direction.
8. She is sitting in the corner by the wall.
Good news-seduction will be easy. You don't have to look for an isolated corner and this will also ensure less distraction. Also, if she is sitting in a corner, chances are she is shy, so you will need to do more talking at first. It also means she has not been approached much that night. It also means she will thank you for helping her have fun or she would have been bored the entire night. I cannot insist any stronger than this: WOMEN ARE DYING FOR YOU TO APPROACH THEM! THEY WANT THE SAME THING YOU DO! So be a Man and seduce her. She will thank you for that!
9. I am not in the mood.
Excellent-go and talk to her to get out of the gloomy mood you are caught in. And for Christ sake, stop making the damn excuses!
10. I'll start tomorrow.
There is no tomorrow! Back when I was going to school in New Jersey, I was living in a town house. We were four guys and four girls in the house. I was very attracted to a girl and initially she was attracted to me as well. One night there was a senior party. She asked me if I was coming and "I was not in the mood". There was tomorrow to seduce her. My roommate ended up making the move at her while partying with her. I was pissed the entire night hearing him having sex with her. AND REMEMBER TOMORROW YOU WILL AGAIN SAY "I'LL START TOMORROW!"
I can only give you advise, I cannot make you go and do what you are supposed to do. Need motivation? The sooner you start your journey, the sooner you will reach your destination. Everything else can wait!
From now on, anytime you have an excuse as to why you should not approach the woman, you have to approach her just to prove yourself that you were not making an excuse.
Good Luck and Be Happy!