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‘He Gives Us No Choice’
President Trump came after the late-night TV hosts on Wednesday, accusing them on Twitter of “one-sided hatred.” Trump referred proudly to recent comments from Jay Leno, who lamented late-night TV’s current obsession with Trump (though Leno also had plenty of his own criticisms of the president).
Jimmy Kimmel pushed back, saying that Trump’s presidency is so extraordinary it has become virtually impossible not to talk about him every day. “I don’t want to talk about Donald Trump every night. None of us do,” he said. “But he gives us no choice.”
“If he sat in the White House all day quietly working on things, I would almost never mention him, because it’s not interesting. But today — not even today, before 10 a.m. today, before 10 o’clock this morning, his former campaign chairman was sentenced to prison for the second time in a week, he called himself the most successful president in history and he tweeted to let people know his wife hasn’t been replaced with a body double. I’m not supposed to mention that?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Obama wore mom jeans one time and we made jokes about it for six straight years. How about this: You stop being terrible, we’ll stop pointing it out, O.K.?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
Leno Stops In
Over on “The Tonight Show,” Leno dropped by in person for a surprise visit, temporarily seizing the spotlight from Jimmy Fallon and — indeed — rattling off a handful of Trump-free (but often risqué) jokes.
“Medical marijuana experts now say you can cure hemorrhoids using marijuana. Let me tell you something — O.K., no — if you think you can cure hemorrhoids with marijuana, somebody’s just blowing smoke up your ass.” — JAY LENO
He got some of his strongest laughs when casting himself as the wizened old-timer, lamenting the rise of Amazon and remembering another era.
“Amazon announced they’re going to be opening stores nationwide with no sales clerks of any kind. First of all, that’s not new, O.K.? Sears had that 20 years ago.” — JAY LENO
“What happened to Sears? Remember when Sears was Amazon? Remember those days, you got that catalog, you found what you wanted, and boom, eight weeks later, it was right there.” — JAY LENO
Waiting for Mueller
Stephen Colbert is growing impatient as he awaits the report of Robert Mueller, the special counsel.
“Come on already, Bob! It’s been two years! Even George R.R. Martin is like, ‘Wrap it up.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
Colbert recounted the latest news in the Russia investigation: On Wednesday, Paul Manafort, Trump’s former campaign chairman, was in court to be sentenced for his crimes — for the second time in two weeks.
“It might sound impossible to serve two sentences at the same time, but I think Manafort’s up to it — because he served two countries at the same time.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Paul Manafort was sentenced to an additional three and a half years in prison. So at least somebody from the Trump campaign is getting a second term.” — SETH MEYERS
The Bits Worth Watching
Samantha Bee dedicated eight minutes of her show to discussing Representative Ilhan Omar, whose recent comments about the United States’ relationship with Israel have been the subject of heated debate.
The celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay can’t get away from his famous “idiot sandwich” moment.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
The actor and entrepreneur Joseph Gordon-Levitt will sit down with Kimmel on Thursday.